Mad Scientist. Master Pipesmith. Chief Matelot. Illuminator. I once lit a light bulb using only my bare hand. As a boy, I was so bright, my mama called me Sun. When I’m not sawing, hacking, welding, burning or electrifying things, I enjoy sneaking into abandoned buildings looking for hundred-year-old junk to make things with. And the things I make, are pretty frickin’ cool.
GLENGARY GLEN MUTT
ABC Baby. That’s right… I’m a closer. You see this watch? You see this watch? You think you’re coming over for a pet, a scratch, maybe even a high-five, but you’re leaving with a table. I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. Except when I do it, YOU BUY SOMETHING. Just Looking? Sure. You want to “wait” to place and order? We’ll see. Come here, scratch my belly. Here, take my paw. Now take this order form and fill it out. And don’t ask me about a discount…
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
The ‘Most Interesting Man in the World’ once signed a waiver… just to be in the same room with me. I gave him 5 seconds to savor the moment, then told him to leave. So what do I do around here? I’m the magic behind the curtain; the cloud in crystal ball. I’m the missing fortune in your fortune cookie. I’m the most important person in the company. Jason once asked the Magic Eight Ball what I do… “Reply Hazy, Ask Again.”
CLIENT HAPPINESS DEPT.
I am here to make your day. No seriously. Your day, your table, your lamp, your chair. Pretty much anything you want. Have questions about the status of your order? Need help placing a new order? Want something a little special? I am at your service.